Wear Orange

Most students may walk about unaware, but in the bushes there are vicious beasts waiting for the right moment to attack. According a letter dated October 27th; the “Campus deer problem” is getting out of hand, and needs to be addressed before someone gets hurt. Currently, the “Deer Mauling Count 2005” is steady at a whooping total of one close call.

Deer have come down from the Y Mountain to BYU for years to feed on the flowers, and bother students unceasingly. Years ago I saw several deer jump across 900 East late one night into the MTC, a whole pack of the monsters probably going to attack some unsuspecting Elder, or BYU coed.

The truth is, there is no way to “take the problem of deer on campus seriously.” Short of supplying campus ground crew members with crash orange and .30-30s, or releasing real live cougars (not just you and me, but real mountain lions) on campus to deal with the pesky deer, I don’t see a tactful solution to it. I suppose we’ll just have to press forward, and allow our brethren to be mauled and trampled by them ruthless deer, and find something else to complain about.