Greater Purposes of BYU

The HBL Library has six floors filled with large tables for two reasons. First, students have a great facility for studying, and second, for picking up on girls. There are a few strategies in finding your eternal companion through this medium. One is to stand back, and wait for a seat next to a girl to open up, then take a chance. This is slow, and has produced little fruit. More radically is to draw them in. Leave a book unattended at the table to save your seat. Stand at the nearest stairwell and pretend to talk on your cell phone while watching your table. Wait until a cute girl sits down at your table, then return. Spark up a conversation and you’re in.

The third way is to find an empty table, and wait for them to come. I was waiting for Ms. Right today, throwing out the vibe, when another guy moved in and sat right across from me. Moments later Ms. Right walked by and chose another table. My play was flawless, but this guy ruined it for me. Guys should be more aware of what is going on around them, and understand the greater purposes of BYU.