Lew's line

We Won!

2010-04-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone that voted. I know I was spamming the crap out of your wall, bothering you on facebook chat, texting, calling, and even tracking you down. But 447 of my bestest friends took 45 seconds out of their busy day, signed into facebook and in three simple clicks helped me and Alyssa win a pair of iPads for our classrooms next year.

Thank you.

Srlsly though, I'm sorry if we were annoying you, I know exactly how bugged I get when I get invited to things over and over and over again.

You're all the best.

iPads

2010-04-07T18:08:00.000-07:00

My wife and I are going to be elementary school teachers. We are in a competition, and the winner gets iPads for their classroom. We would like to win.

We're the fourth team on the list (Young & Young).

To vote, go to:
http://poll.fm/f/1sn79

Thank you for your help

Summer Reading

2010-02-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

So I'm graduating this April. I'm really excited about finally having something to show for the past 8 years of off-and-on school. While I'm excited, there is still a lot of things I need to do to get ready for next fall. Here is one of them.

I'm doing my student teaching right now, and if there's one thing I've learned, I need to read a LOT to catch up to 5th graders. There are a TON of great books that most of my current students have read that I didn't know existed until January. So, I have created my Summer Reading List with books on it that I need to read if I want to keep up with these kids.

Suzanne Collins
-The Underland Chronicles (6 books)
-The Hunger Games Series (3 books)

I've heard good things about Collins, but I haven't read a page of these books. I hear they're supposed to be fantastic, though.

John Flanagan
-The Ranger's Apprentice Series

There are like 9 books in this series, but I'd feel good about myself if I got through the first 4. I'm reading one aloud to my students and they really seem to like it. I don't know if it is because the guy is from Australia, or what, but the dude uses words from WAY out in left field. Words I never even heard of before. Now I don't have a huge vocabulary, but I don't usually come across that many words in a book. So I guess this would also be a good book to help one study for the GRE?

Eoin Colfer
-Artimus Fowl series (7 books)

I think the 7th book hasn't come out yet, but I could be wrong. I'm reading the first book with a literature group in my class right now. They REALLY like it, and so do I. I'm struggling trying to finish my Teacher Work Sample (that's like my capstone project I have to finish before I can graduate) and I keep opening that stupid book and can't put it down.

I'm going to leave my Summer Reading list at that for now.... but I wouldn't be opposed to adding to it.

Any other suggestions?

If you don't have google wave, you won't see this post.

2009-11-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

The wave

2009-11-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

Up yours, Pandora!

2009-10-30T13:22:00.001-07:00

Dear Pandora:

I'm sorry that I listened to your stupid advertisements for my allotted time this month...

I will not pay money to listen to your music. The only reason I suffer through your stupid advertisements is because I was listening to it for free. If I was interested in paying for music to listen to, I would buy the stupid music.

You are a stupid, stupid website that I will probably continue to use next month for 40 hours.... jerks.

Yours,

Lewis

Mastercard Commercial

2009-10-29T21:20:00.000-07:00

Wedding ring: a few thousand dollars

Wedding: A few more thousand dollars

Rent for a year at Wymount: $7200

Realizing your wife is as big of a geek as you are: Priceless

Football v. Rugby

2009-10-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

I'm no stranger to the BYU student newspaper, the Daily Universe's letters to the editor. Every once in a while, an article like last Tuesday's attack on the BYU Football team will inspire me to put something together... So this was my response; I don't know if it will be published or not.

Tackle Football

American Gridiron Tackle Football is under attack, and I won’t stand for it. Tuesday’s letter to the editor claimed that the BYU Rugby club team deserves as much attention and funding as the BYU Football team. They cited the 2009 National Championship team as proof that they deserve a place at the table next to Bronco and company. This is more than just a slap in the face to the BYU Football team, but a roundhouse kick to the American people, a wedgie to the Declaration of Independence, and a purple nurple to the Constitution!

Men fought and died to keep us out of the British Empire, and the popularity of rugby in this country is disrespectful to those men. International rugby powerhouses include Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Wales and even England. What do those countries have in common? They are all apart of the Commonwealth. Why isn’t rugby popular in America? Why doesn’t ESPN ever cover intercollegiate rugby? Why doesn’t the BYU Athletic department add rugby to our line of already successful sports?

There is neither interest nor money in rugby in America because we won that war. American football may have roots in rugby; but with the invention of the forward pass, American football set itself apart as the greatest sport in the history of mankind. Putting rugby and American football on the same level is wrong, and is dishonoring 223 years of independence this great country has enjoyed. So enjoy rugby as a novelty, but do not mess with American Gridiron Tackle Football.

Lewis Young

Provo, UT

I pledge...

2009-09-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

KSL reported a few weeks ago about how angry they were about a movie about Hollywood actors pledging to do their part for the environment, or helping the president meet his goals, or whatever. The movie wasn't the most tactful thing ever, but had a good message: students can improve their lives, and make a difference. The Eagle Forum had a field day with the whole thing, because they felt that showing support for the president in the schools was promoting a liberal agenda. That is reason 403 I think the Eagle Forum full of a bunch of idiots.

Today I saw one of those stupid facebook applications that everybody wants me to see by sending it to my mini-feed. I honestly don't know why some people think I care about which Disney princess they were in a previous life, which WWF superstar from the early 90's their personality reflects, or what month they should get married. I just don't care. If you think I do, I don't. Every once in a while I'll see one that makes me chuckle, but 9,999 times out of 10,000 I roll my eyes and wonder aloud, "Do you honestly think I care?" Sometimes I'm more colorful than that...

Today I saw one, and before I ignored the poster, I took a screen shot of it because I wondered how many people in the country HONESTLY see the world the way the guy that wrote this quiz does.

Let me tell you what bugs me. In the quiz it says "should the pledge be brought back..." In order to be brought back, it would have needed to leave first.

***NEWS FLASH*****

The pledge hasn't gone anywhere. Sure there have been lawsuits and "liberal" judges have ruled that children can opt out of reciting the pledge of allegiance, schools still regularly recite it. To phrase it "be brought back" is language that incites fear into people, and encourages them to complain that they want their America back....

... I hadn't realized America went anywhere.

The pledge has gone through several changes to conform to current events. In the 1950's the U.S. was in a cold war with the U.S.S.R., and to show our strength and connection to Christian ideals, we added "under God" to our pledge. I believe in God, and have no problem with "under God" being in the pledge, but I don't think it is wrong for someone else to have a problem with it. The pledge changed to serve a purpose before, could it change again to serve a new purpose? If a student feels stronglyabout the pledge in my classroom, I would respect their request and invite them to sit out, or stand respectfully.

Anyway, my point is that in America we still say the pledge. If you haven't been in a classroom since you were there as a student, go volunteer. You'll see that classrooms still take part in the pledge once a week, or daily. If volunteering at a school is against your beliefs, then you can feel free to sit out.

The Risen and Shouted.

2009-09-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

This was a great weekend. DallyLamma and I discussed how College Football Kickoff Weekend is better than Christmas and Thanksgiving. While Christmas and Thanksgiving each only get one day per year, College Football is the gift that keeps giving from September until January.

Alyssa and I didn't party in the streets like some of our fellow Provonians did, we drove up to Park City to wind down. We watched the game once on ESPN360.com while we were up there. If you failed to watch it, you should do all you can. We watched it again on Sunday night, and it was playing in the BYU Bookstore this morning as I walked through. Incredible game.

Anyway, I think my point is this: I like football lots.

She-Mullet

2009-08-24T19:07:00.000-07:00

Before I cut my hair last week I thought it might be a good idea to see what kind of bad hair I could do with my hair. I see some pretty bad haircuts and styles at work, and I figured I might be able to duplicate the haircuts we saw at the demolition derby.

As you can see, the top of the hair is as high as possible, and the front, or "bangs" are curled on the top of the forehead. I've seen some at Home Depot where the bangs begin at one ear, and go all the way over to the other ear. They probably use a ridiculous amount of hairspray and spend a ridiculous amount of time achieving the effect. I did it in about 15 seconds.

While most women at Home Depot who wear this haircut don't have sideburns like I do, some do. They also flip the back of their hair up, some achieving a complete curl. Somehow most use enough hairspray or something to keep the lines from a comb or brush on the side of their head for a full 24 hour period. I don't know how they do this, but they do.

Another view of the flip in the back. Sometimes referred to the "duck butt".

I imagine some of the women who wear hairdo's like this spend close to an hour to put this together. I did the entire thing in less than one minute.

Tackle Football 2009

2009-08-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

So we bought our season tickets yesterday for BYU Football 2009, and I've been thinking a lot about college football. Here are a few predictions and thoughts about college football.

1. The BCS is a mess. The hearings this summer didn't accomplish anything, and I doubt we see any change in the next decade. I think a playoff system would be best, but any change on the current system would be welcomed.

2. While we're talking about the BCS... Why is the Big East in the BCS? There are no good teams in that conference. I mean, West Virginia has had good teams, but they haven't earned their place in the BCS. Top to bottom the Mountain West is just as good as that conference, and probably better. I just don't get it.

3. BYU will probably lose to Oklahoma. But that doesn't mean I am not predicting the upset. BYU by 10. BYU was probably going to lose to Miami in 1990, Boise State was probably going to lose to OU, and Utah was probably going to lose to Alabama.. so even though our chances are slim, we still have a chance.

4. Old people suck. I just spent a bunch of money on tickets. One of the things that could ruin that for me is if I'm stuck in front of an old guy that yells at me for standing up. It seems to be an eternal struggle between generations... I don't care how many "procedures" you've had to have a blockage removed sir, this is a football game, and therefore I shall stand.

5. I'm excited for all Alyssa and my stupid superstitions and awesome traditions. We have some awesome ones.

Shirts. I always wear my gray stretch Y t-shirt the day before a game. I always wear the "official gameday t-shirt" on the actual gameday. This is a newer tradition that only started during the "Fully Invested" year (2007).
Night Before Game Meal. In 2007 me and a bunch of my friends ate at Del Taco the night before every game, except for the two that we lost. We decided that we needed to keep that tradition going last year. We moved to Village Inn, but after the TCU whooping we switched back to Del Taco. Even if we've lost using this superstition, going out late the night before the game is a ton of fun and we plan to keep this tradition going.
Early arrival. We show up early to the games. I don't like to miss the Cougar Spell, but I will if I have to. On big games we like to tailgate before the games, and I plan to tailgate for most of the games this year. You are all invited, just bring something to contribute.
CougarTail. The LaVell Edwards Stadium sells 24" long maple fritters called CougarTails. We always get and eat one before kickoff. They also sell some with a bratwurst in the middle and call it a BratTail... but I've never had enough guts to buy one.
Lucky Urinal. I always stop by my lucky urinal before the game starts. This tradition goes back a few years. In 1996 when Texas A&M came to town, I drank like a gallon of water during the game. In the last minutes of the game I kept having to go take a leak. Any time I left, BYU seemed to score a touchdown. Each time I left, I used the same urinal. Now, before each game I make my pilgrimage to the Portal RR Men's room and use my Lucky Urinal.. you know, for luck.
Stay to the End. The last game that I left early was the Utah game 2005. We lost in OT. I figure it has nothing to do with me, but it is important to me to stay to the end of the game, regardless of score. If we're getting a beatdown, I'll stay. If we're up 59-0 on UCLA... you bet I stuck around. I do not believe in the "Let's leave now and beat traffic" doctrine. I think it is weak, and Un-American.

The Derby

2009-07-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

I love summer. One of my favorite things about summer is the Demolition derby.

I have missed out on recent demolition derbies for reasons I don't have good excuses for. After sitting through the Demolition Derby Saturday night, I recommitted myself to never missing one again.

If you haven't ever seen one, you need to. They're incredible.

Wrong Number

2009-04-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

I've had my cell phone number since March of 2005, so I guess we just celebrated our 4 year anniversary together. We've been through a few phones together, but we're still holding strong. I sometimes get a call from people trying to call Doug, the mechanic. I know he is a mechanic because he is my Dad's mechanic. I'll get a call from a few people a month asking me how their 84 chev is coming, or if he has had the chance to look at the transmition in their 88 Dodge Stealth. Wrong numbers are understandable, and in Doug's case excusable. His number is only one digit away from mine. You would think, in the 4 years we've been together, I would stop getting calls for the guy that had my number before me, Randy.
I get calls for Randy pretty often. When I first got my phone it was a weekly occurrence. It makes me wonder if he failed to pay his bill or something the same afternoon I swooped into the system and stole it from him. The phonecalls tapered off gradually as time went on. I would spark up a conversation with the folks that would call him, to check if Randy was ok. I think some people thought it was weird that they were calling Randy to check in on him, and they just got a concerned stranger who hadn't heard from someone trying to talk of Randy in a long time. I got a phonecall for Randy today. The person looking for him didn't know if he was OK or not. I'm beginning to worry about him, and if he is still OK. I hope the Scientologists that called him a few months ago were able to talk to him. I wonder why he gave up my number. I wonder if he knows that the last digits spell BIOC (i pronounce it bee-yawtch!)I'm sure he never realized that. If he had, he would have never given it up. Or maybe he thinks its funny to put my number down at Scientology conventions just to make me mad.

If you know anyone named Randy, and he used to have my phone number, let him know I'm concerned.

Stories

2009-02-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

So some of my friends like to poke fun of the fact that I can’t tell a story. They say I tell long boring stories that never get anywhere, and never have a point.

Every time they point that out, it reminds me of this guy I met on my mission…

Well I was serving in my second area, I had been out 6-7 months and I was serving in Pitsanulok. Pitsanulok was a fun town on a river. The river was great, there were people that lived on boats that doubled as houses. But it made for a lot of bridges in this city, and that wasn’t fun to bike over…

Especially…

When my bike didn’t come in from my first area for several weeks. See at the beginning of my mission we used a mailing system similar to UPS for mailing bikes. They weren’t very fast for mailing bikes. So I had to use the loaner bike for the first few weeks I was there. It was a little kid’s ten speed. I crashed it and almost died… the bike belonged to a great member family…

Which reminds me…

One time they took us out to a waterfall on P-day, and they also took us out to the Hmong village outside of the city. It was awesome, up in these hills away from everything. It was great to get away from the city…

Anyway…

The guy this whole blog is about lived by the bus station. It was funny how much of these cities outside of Bangkok were ruled by either a bus station, or a train station. Sometimes both. If the railroad went through a city, then the bus station was usually within walking distance of the train station. And that makes sense. Around the trains stations lots of businesses would thrive. 7-11s, CD stores, electronics stores, and even guitar stores were always centered around the bus station. I wonder if the businesses were there first or if the bus station was there first. I guess its like a chicken and an egg type thing.

And…

Eggs are another thing. I was in that city when the bird flue really took Thailand in 2004. Nobody ate chicken, or eggs for a few months. That was really sad, because Khaw Man Kai, was one of my favorite Thai dishes for breakfast. That was just chicken on top of a chicken-broth rice.

Anyway, this whole story was about this guy that wasn’t very good at telling stories. He couldn’t get to the point, and went off on tangents.

I don’t think I’m at all like him.

So on...

2009-02-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

This is a song I wrote about our recent discussion, but I wrote it a while ago. The pictures are me just trying to be sweet for Valentine's Day.

I've never been all that impressed by my singing... and neither has anyone else. But I have always been a huge fan of my wicked harmonica solo in the middle.

Take my wife... Please!

2009-02-10T14:41:00.000-08:00

My wife blogged about her incorrect perception of our first date earlier this week. In her blog, she committed libel by publishing incorrect information about how things actually are, in contrast to her own skewed, and wrong opinion. If what she says is true, then I would have kissed her on our first date, but I surely would never commit such an act.

She tried to sway her audience by talking on, and on, and on...(you think her blog is bad, you should live with her!) about how our date to Beowulf was actually a date, and how it differed from our date to the TCU game. You will notice that I refer to our date to Beowulf as "our date" because it was in fact a date; but our date to the TCU game was also a date.

To prove this I will examine the felicity conditions of a date, that is what makes a date a date? My simple answer and definition would be this: a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person. A date usually has the connotation (particularly in our culture, and in this valley) of courtship. And the third pillar of what makes a date a date, is there should be an activity. Planning to hang out ahead of time on a couch watching TV meets two of the three requirements, but does not meet all three and is therefore, not a date.

Some, my wife included, would argue that one (usually the male) must pay for the other for it to be a date. She even argues that I did not pay for her to get in, therefore it could not have been a date. To that I say phooey. I did not pay for her to get in, because I did not know her when she bought her all sports pass, and therefore am justified in not paying for the ticket to the TCU game. In addition to that, I have long argued that while I did not pay the price of her admission, I did pay for a hot chocolate. She admits this was a nice thing to do, and to that I say "you're friggin' welcome!"

In the history of dating, roommates have always been a thorn in every bachelor's side. Shortly after the wheel was invented, the the third wheel was sure to follow. While having a third wheel along for the ride can make for some awkward situations, the third wheel being there does not void a date's status.

Because the TCU game fulfills all of the felicity conditions of what I, and the rest of the world consider to be a date, it is therefore a date.

This chart shows how 100 people questioned about this date responded.

I have a theory as to why Alyssa refuses to admit she is wrong. When on a date, one must chew gum while juggling chainsaws, and singing God Save the Queen..... in a manner of speaking. You have to do a lot of things at the same time. Listen to them talk, respond thoughtfully, look them in the eye, keep from farting, don't check out any other girls, don't text anyone, all while trying to look your best, smell your best and act your best to impress. It can be quite intimidating. Alyssa, dropped the ball. She was a horrible date. She gave her number to another guy, talked for about 20 minutes to a guy that was obviously interested in her that wasn't me, and played the "guess which candy-bar I'm thinking of as I caress your leg" with Kelson. I think that she feels so horrible for being on such bad behavior on our first date that she has created this story that our first date was one where she was better behaved.

Better behaved? She still put out on what she thought was her first date.

I'm okay with that though.

Semiannual Blogging

2008-10-10T09:22:00.001-07:00

I'm taking 16 credit hours and working 20-25 hours a week... so up yours. But you can check out this new blog...
My Wife Alyssa's Blog

Its pretty awesome. It'll have link on the side of my blog.... I don't know why I didn't do this a long time ago... oh well.

Max

2008-04-14T17:38:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in a long time. I know, I'm as frustrated with my creative slump as you are. I was searching for inspiration and I decided to take page from my nephew Max's book...

I asked myself, "what would I build if I had Max's imagination and resources?" Coming off my 85 day ski year, I figured I would build myself a pair of skis... so i did. I used newspaper and duct tape... and nothing else.

Fishin' the Redds, Beating the Reds, and Turkey Day

2007-11-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in an eternity, so i figured I would.

One bad thing about BYU is the lack of a break in Fall Semester until Thanksgiving. True, I didn't have a class until September 7th, but I would trade that first week of September for a week off in October. Lucky for me, I made the best of this Thanksgiving break.

On the Friday before Thanksgiving Dallas flew into town, and, as he has done in the past, he didn't tell my mom. We surprised her... totally caught her off guard... which doesn't surprise me one bit.

Teusday I went fishing with Dallas, and his future boss Dave Mortenson. Killer trip where we each landed quite a few fish, a few of them of reasonable size. Fantastic day on the river. Later that night Dallas and I went to the BYU vs Hartford basketball game because I had first row tickets that I had won as a consolation prize in a competition for front row tickets to the BYU vs Utah game. I pulled out as many leg hairs as I could in three minutes, but didn't win... biased judges.

At that basketball game, Dallas was picked to do the halftime 2 layups and a 3 pointer challenge. He put the three pointer down at the buzzer, the crowd went crazy and he got a 100$ gift certificate to the BYU bookstore. I'm pretty sure he won't ever do anything cooler with a basketball, and suggest to never shoot a ball again... why not quit while you're ahead?

Thursday was Thanksgiving(duh), and as Dallas was carving the turkey Max, my 5 year-old nephew looked at the leg and said, "Dallas, you have GOT to give me that drumstick!" Dallas obliged. I snapped this winner. That kid is a champ.

Saturday capped off an amazing week. We started the day by having a tailgate party where we heckled the visiting Utes, wishing them good luck... at the New Mexico bowl. My reaction to the game was about what you would expect. The last time I jumped that high while screaming was about a year ago at Rice Eccles Stadium.. Hall's pass to Collie on fourth and eighteen goes down as the #3 moment I've witnessed. (Behind BYU Miami in 1990, and Beck to Harline last year... and ahead of BYU/Utah 2001 and A&M 1996) What a great game. We rushed the field.

As I was driving home, I had the Cougar Fight Song blaring (and with my system you can REALLY hear it from a good distance) with the windows down and a U fan came up to me and expressed his concern that "those refs were bought off with tithing money!" I told him to come up with a better excuse than that, and that utah had just as many players on the field as BYU did when Unga scored the winning touchdown. Better luck next year!

This weekend is exciting too. 8 great college football games back to back... and you KNOW i'll be watching every one.

...Rain or Snow!!!

2007-10-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

What are my two most favoritest things in the world? Football and snow. What happens when you mix the two? Fantasticness. Absolute fantasticness.

A special thank you goes out to Dallas for loaning me his Gore-Tex pants. Without them I would have been as wet as Dave (the guy in the trash bag).

Heathens at it Again

2007-09-28T12:32:00.001-07:00

One of my most favorite things in the world is the Daily Universe, BYU's newswpaper. The sports coverage is good, and everything else they just run AP articles... So it is an OK paper. There are two things worth reading in the Universe, Letters to the Editor (which I have been published in) and the Police Beat. Today's police beat was as follows:

Sept 25: A razor cell phone and a wallet containing $40 cash, credit and debit cards, a driver's license and other various cards were reported stolen from the men's locker room in the Smith Fieldhouse. The victim came out of the shower and saw someone rummaging through his gym bag. He hurriedly got dressed and tried to catch the suspect but he was gone. The suspect was described as a white male in his mid-20s and was wearing a white T-shirt, jeans, athletic shoes and a white baseball cap with U of U in red letters.

Those damn Utes, stealing our razor phones and money... Oh, they'll pay. They'll pay November 24th in Provo. Johnny Harline is still open by the way.

Full Moon

2007-09-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

I saw my brother-in-law stick his digital camera up to my dad's spotting telescope while we were in Alaska and snap a picture of a couple of other cruise ships that turned out great. I decided to take these next few shots in my backyard in the next few nights. These are some of the best of those shots.

On Aug. 28 there was a lunar eclipse. These are my shots from that at 4.00am... which is WAY too early to get up. The camera had a hard time focusing in on a half-lit moon.

Tackle Football

2007-08-19T17:01:00.001-07:00

The buildup is intense. The long summer of boring ESPN programing is just one more weekend away from the kickoff of college football. I could not be more excited.

Before too long we'll have NFL regular season, College football, Major league baseball playoff races, NBA and NHL preseason all on the same weekend... or, as I refer to it as, the perfect storm. While ESPN has been forced to follow regular season baseball, David Beckham and the various scandals throughout the summer, Bristol will have more highlights to enter their witty commentary than they will know what to do with. I could not be any more excited.

So, a few more days I will suffer through the Little League world series, regular season baseball and the NFL preseason until I can watch college football, and more specifically, BYU. Go Cougs. I am so excited.

Way Up North

2007-07-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

Alaska, the great-white North. The largest State in the Union. In seven days I visited 3 cities and still only saw a sliver of the thing. I saw Ketichican, Skagway, and Juneau. Alaska is a big friggin’ place. I saw a whole bunch of wildlife, and ate a lot of food.

My ship was the Norwegian Sun, but I didn’t see much sun. It was cold, windy, rainy and not exactly what I thought a cruise would be. I did enjoy myself and I can definitely see the benefits of cruising. If a cruise down south were planned, I would most definitely be on board.

The trip really started out on a downer. My Aunt Jeannine planned the trip, emailed everybody countless times, followed up with everything, booked tickets and organized literally everything to get all 21 of us up there including my Grandparents, their children and grandchildren. A huge kudos goes out to her in getting this crazy crew of 21 together. My Grandma, after a few days on the ship was not feeling well enough to continue and finish the cruise. Jeannine, Dan and my Grandparents then got off the ship and flew home. Things like this just happen and you have to do what you have to do, but the whole family really missed all four of them for the rest of the vacation.

The ship sailed out of Vancouver. That is an awesome city in and of itself. I had no idea how big it was. It was cold and rainy there, but the clouds lifted enough to see the skyline. The only way that city could have been cooler was if it weren’t in Canada.

The first stop was in Ketchican. My brother and I got up early to go salmon fishing. The river we fished was way cool, and it was fun to throw a fly in Alaska. That fulfilled one of my things to do before I die. The only thing I guess I could have wished for, was fish to fish to. There were fish in the river, but they were further down from where we were. We tried to move down into another hole, but another guide with another group kept us from catching anything.

The highlight of that trip came while we were fishing a bear crossed a downed tree. I was watching my line, and my brother called out, BEAR! We all looked downstream and I snapped this shot. When I grabbed my camera and turned it on, the bear was just climbing onto the log. He was running at full stride, and I “bear-ly” had enough time to take the picture. Bears are cool, and I think that the black bears are best.

Its a good thing it didn't come close to me, because I would have brought out my mean face.

Other than the bear, the fishing trip was a bust. My other siblings went on a kayaking trip that day, and while the prospect of catching a fish in Alaska had a huge draw… we did get screwed.

The second stop was Juneau. I wish we had stopped in Juneau for longer. Juneau is the only state capital that has no roads in or out. In all of Juneau there is only like 92 miles of road total. Our bus driver/tour guide on our excursion was from Pleasant Grove, and was one of a large group of LDS boys working as tour guides this summer. That would be fun, for a few weeks. But I think it might get old pretty quick.

In Juneau I saw whales. Wow, whales are awesome. I saw them “bubble feed” which isn’t terribly different than when the Stripped Bass “boil.” They circle around the fish or shrimp or whatever they’re eating, then blow bubbles corner them into a huge circle and then they all surface and eat. I know that’s not the best description, but what we saw was about 13 whales surfacing head first all at the same time. It was pretty cool. They’d be gone for about 5 minutes and then all of a sudden BOOM 13 whales jumping. That was cool. I didn't get a great picture of it, but in this one you can see a few tails, a back or two and a bunch of puffs of air from the whales blow-hole.

The third day was possibly the most scenic. The town was Skagway and the boat stopped (in some ways regrettably) there for the longest period of time. Juneau would have been in my opinion the best city to be in for a whole day because of the variety of tours available there. Skagway was still very nice. My immidiate family and I went on a train up a huge glacial formed canyon saw a glacier, visited a gold mining town, panned for gold, had smoked salmon and visited a brothel museum. The brothel museum was an interesting experience. One sexual innuendo after another, after another, after another. These places tell the same jokes every 15 minutes or so, but everyone we were there with certainly thought that every joke was funnier than the other. I could only handle so much.

One great thing about this cruise was the food. My cousin Andi cannot eat gluten and the crew in the restaurants were so good to work with her. Other than that, my stomach hasn’t growled in a week. All day there was something to eat somewhere. Room service was apart of the whole thing, so my cousin that I roomed with, Brett and I ordered pizza just about every night.

Now that I’ve mentioned Brett I do need to talk about him for a little bit. This kid is a crack up. He’s going to be a senior this year at East and could go pretty close to anywhere he wants for college. He got some award from the Governor a few years back, and is just wicked smart. We roomed together and he nearly got me to spit milk out of my nose more than once. Funny kid.

The weather was good for most of the days I was off of the boat, but while on the boat there was a lot of rain and wind. One night my cousins and I were soaking in the hot tub and the weather was so intense it was nearly impossible to sit facing the wind without getting pelted in the eye with a 90 mile-an-hour rain drop. That made getting out of the hot tub even less appealing. We only got out when the guy closing the hot tub down for the night kicked us out.

The weather was colder than I anticipated, and even without my Grandparents, Jeannine and Dan the ship still continued to sail on, and the cruise turned out to be really fun. I would definitely recommend it.

Tastes like Chicken

2007-07-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

I have been spending a lot of time on the golf course as of late. A lot of time. I wish I would have gotten into golf more as a little kid. If I would have been encouraged to work on my putting like I was to practice the piano, maybe I wouldn’t be as bad right now. But then again, a large part of the enjoyment I find in golf is improvement, the struggle and the psychology of the game.

My friends have created a wonderful tradition that I have been invited into recently, and I started at the bottom of the pecking order.

Every time the guys from Brick Oven, Parker, Trevor, Kyle and Ron play they keep score meticulously and write it down in a book to keep track of wins, and more importantly for this entry, losses. Later this summer we’re trying to put together a big trip down to St. George to just play golf all weekend long. Ron’s getting married in August and, not that married people aren’t invited, they just don’t have the money to do fun things. So I’m replacing Ron as Divorced Guy No. 2, playing second fiddle to Parker.

The winner is awarded “The Medallion.” Kyle is the owner of “The Medallion” right now. Until he plays, and someone beats him, it will stay attached to his bag. Winning “The Medallion of Victory” will also go into the scorebook to document the victory, which obviously will ensure an immortality of fame. Aside from that, the victor will be entitled to talk smack for the next long while. The direction of the trash talk may be focused at any player, but special concentration is typically centered on the loser, who gets the opposite of glory, which of course it unglory.

The loser is awarded “The Rubber Chicken.” The Rubber Chicken is also attached to the loser’s golf bag and cannot be removed for ANY reason until he plays and doesn’t lose. In addition to the shame of playing with a rubber chicken on his bag, and being forced to answer questions when playing with other people, the keeper of the chicken is the target of absolute scrutiny, and unbridled trash talk. Winning the Medallion I would have to assume, never winning the Medallion myself must feel like NOT coming in last and becoming the new, or continued chicken keeper.

Despite the considerable amount of money I have put into my golf bag this summer, and despite the drastic improvement of my game since last year, I played the worst game of the season and just missed a putt that would have prevented the “Rubber Chicken of Shame” from being attached to my golf bag, and so here it is in all of its shameful glory, “The Rubber Chicken of Shame.”

I spent an three hours after work today working on my short game… I am very motivated to get rid of this chicken before I go to Alaska on Sunday. Two guys asked me, “What’s with the chicken?” and when I answered they thought our tradition was funny. I failed to see the humor. I will not sleep well knowing I got whooped last time the rubber chicken was on the line. As the incumbent chicken keeper, I am working hard to rid myself of this humiliating embarrassment.

My New Room

2007-07-06T16:09:00.002-07:00

Since March I have been living in the basement of my parents house in a room without a real closet. I just have been using the guest bedroom's closet for those things that need to be hung such as suits, dress shirts, pants and ties. I have gotten on without a closet down here, but walking up an entire flight of stairs was becoming to be a bit combersom. In addition to my slight case of slothfulness, my brother moved into the guest room and took up half of that closet and inspired me to put a wardrobe into my downstairs room.

In the initial brainstorm session, I thought a wire wardrobe bought at Wal-Mart or target would do the trick, but that would be too easy, too quick and too tacky. 3 months, a fresh coat of paint on the walls and 5 wardrobe boxes from Ikea (6 if you count the one I tried to set up by myself, exploded and fell on my foot... I don't count it, but you can if you want) later I have a new room, with more than just a closet, its an orginizational system. Here are some photos... and Guy, Lorien, Dallas... spare the gay jokes. I'm not gay.

Go Jazz Go!

2007-05-31T14:15:00.000-07:00

This memorial day I went to the Jazz game. The first, second and fourth quarters were not fun to watch, but the third was great. If you have never been to a playoff game, you need to. Because they're awesome!

My buddies and I got the tickets off of a scalper website for fifty bucks each, and we were glad to pay it. Turns out, the tickets were on the very top row in the upper bowl. There could not have been a further away place to sit while watching the game at the arena. With all things considered, I'd do it again... in a heartbeat. More than worth the 50 bucks, and I would definately do it again.

While I was there I saw a flyer up against the wall behind my seat. I can't but help think about how effective marketing this flyer was. Who else to market good seats than those who are in bad ones?

After sitting on the back row I thought to myself, "Man I better get on next season's tickets....wait.... I'm not buying season tickets!" They almost tricked me into it though.

Clap

2006-12-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

The end of the semester is here. Classrooms that had remained only halfway full through the middle of the semester are now full again like in the first week of class. It seems like the Daily Universe was saving several good letters to the editor for today, knowing it would be the last day to run anything controversial before everyone goes home for the holidays. Today's topics included a recent convert that was thanking BYU for confirming that mormonism wasn't technically a christian religion, someone complaining about the University's efforts and tactics in lowering student traffic related fatalities during the holidays and another person critisizing BYU for "worshiping" Gordon B. Hinkley by naming the new building after him before he passes away. Because we would never want to pay tribute to any of the brethern while they were alive after all.

But the most interresting thing about the end of the semester is the "Last Day of Class Applause." I don't qute understand this tradition's roots, and I am curuious if it occurs at other Universities. My only other experience with post-high school education wasn't at a university, it was at Utah Valley State College for a semester prior to my mission. I don't remember anything like this happening there, but I was only there for a semester, and nobody liked any of my professors, so that could have played a factor. My first class at BYU was a biology class during a Spring semester, and I sat there confussed with my deer in the headlights look as everyone around me dropped everything and applauded Dr. Robertson right after he bore his testimony.....this was something new to me.

Today I was thrown back into that same place as right as my New Testiment teacher had finished sharing his testimony with us, and right after we said "amen" the class burst into a thunderous applause. Is this going to be on the final? Will I be docked for not applauding? Is a bousterous applause college's equivillance to Elementary School's red apple? Is this a nationwide thing? What do they do at Gallaudet University? Doesn't it make more sense to applaud at the beginning of the semester rather than the end? By now there is probably little to be done to effect grades one way or another in most of these classes, so trying to gain your professor's favor is basically useless. Shouldn't applause be saved for someplace like a football game....? or....

Maybe next semester I'll incorperate more sporting spectator actions to gain the respect and love of my professor throughout the semester. Here's a list of things I could do:

1. Giant sign that reads: "Dr. Smith 3:16"
2. Giant foam finger
3. Sell popcorn, peanuts, and beer
4. Boo and Cheer and heckle other student's comments
5. Hire cheerleaders
6. Find out my professor's favorite colors and paint my face accordingly
7. Get a group of guys to paint letters on their bellies spelling out the professor's last name
8. Hold up a sign that encorperates the topic of the class using the letters ESPN, ABC, NBC, or CBS.
9. Heckle the TA with things like, "Are you blind?!? How did I not congigate that verb!!!"
10. On the last day of class, give the professor the traditional "Gatorate Bath"

I figure if professors like the applause on the last day, they'll love these antics.... my GPA should soar!!!

The BCS does it again

2006-12-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

Well the computers have done it again. Ohio State will play a Florida team that many people do not think should go to the National Championship game. Did the computers make the right call? The only real way we can know is to play a playoff.

In recent years the mid-major conferences(the MWC, WAC, MAC, Conf. USA, etc.) have produced teams that show up in the top ten, and deserve a chance to dance with the big boys. With the new BCS rules, mid-major conferance champions who rank higher than 12 in the BCS poll can be eligable for a BCS game. Boise State crashed the party this year, and was the first to take advantage of this new rule. In 2004 a team from the MWC, I forget exactly who it was, went to the fiesta bowl and tattoed Pittsburgh, the Big East champion.

So, like many of the Sportscenter pundits, i too propse a play-off. a 16 team, 4 week play-off that ensures the national championship the integrity and respect of other NCAA sanctioned sports. Football is after all, the only sport the NCAA sanctions, that it does not sponsor a national championship.

In my tournament, each conference is given an opportunity to play. If a team ranks in the top 25 of the BCS poll, and wins its conference, they are eligable for the tournament. There are 11 conferences, but two would not have qualified this year. This would require each conference to come up with a true champion, and no shared championships. There are 11 conferences, but two would not qualify this year, because they were not in the top 25. So the 9 conference champions, and 6 at large teams would battle it out for the National Championship. I would have 2 Brackets, and 8 seeds each bracket. Seeding would be based off the BCS rankings. This year the first round matchups would look something like this:

The tournament like any tournament could go any way.

Play these games at the home sites on December 16th, then the second round again at home sites on December 23rd. The third round would be at BCS cities, on January 1st, and then the National Championship game two weeks later on January 9th.

Its what needs to happen. Football is too great a sport to not have a real Champion crowned every year.

Forever in Blue Jeans

2006-09-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

At the end of July I got a new job at UPS. Its a great job. I get paid pretty well, great benefits and get a great work out every night for three to four hours. Consiquently, I am in the best shape I've been in for the better part of five years. The problem with this is I have lost 15-20 pounds since last winter and now none of my pants fit. Because of my recent Anna-Nicole trimspa transformation I have been shopping with Anne for a new pair of jeans that fit. Finding a pair has not been easy.
We were been trying to replace the one pair of jeans i do have that she likes. They were Levi brand...apparently frowned up on by the Nordsrom shopping, name-brand community. The most I had ever spent on a pair of jeans was 40 bucks at American Eagle. I was willing to put down a few bucks on a good pair of jeans if it fit right. So we started looking. We looked at stores like Buckle, Banana Republic, Nordstrom, Gap, American Eagle and found little that looked very good. I tried on really expensive jeans like Sevens and Citizen of Humanity, but nothing fit right. Now those jeans are a size too big. The jeans I tried on ranged from 60-120 bucks a pop.

I tried on all sorts of types of jeans. Slim fit, streight leg, tight fit, boot cut and relaxed. I learned a lot from trying them on, but none of the jeans "looked good" according to Anne. I would try on a pair, walk out of my dressing room and she'd look at me and say, "those are ok..."

"Those are ok..." is roughly translated to, "yuk, you look terrible." At first when she said, "those are ok," I responded, "Sweet! we found 'em let's buy them!"

No such luck. shopping is a bit more complicated than this.

We were at Macy's and we decided to try on a pair of Levi brand Jeans. 30 bucks...fit like a glove.

I am cursed to buying cheap jeans for the rest of my life.... and I couldn't be happier. Only if Anne was blessed with this same curse...

Hampplesauce

2006-02-17T14:52:00.001-08:00

The longest I’ve sat in the testing center is three hours. People may have taken longer. I would not wish it upon anyone, but I suppose it is possible to take a test for four hours. The longest I’ve gone without eating a bag of potato chips is somewhere around two and a half weeks. I am curious why students must open loud bags of chips to hold them over during tests. Are they that hungry?
Today I sat in the music room of the Testing Center and the quiet ambiance there was rudely interrupted by the crackle of a bag and crunch of a chip from a student in the seat furthest from me.
I do not fault the ignorant students for their blunders. If the Campus Vending Services supplied the Testing Center vending machines with more ‘quiet foods,’ test-time chip crunching might be diminished. Quiet foods such as fruit snacks, or astronaut foods in tubes (such as ham and applesauce or “hampplesauce”) would help. This would allow those who never broke the sacrament meeting cheerio habit to silently consume their treat like a phantom in the night, and me to take my test without more frustration than necessary.

Greater Purposes of BYU

2006-02-17T14:52:00.000-08:00

The HBL Library has six floors filled with large tables for two reasons. First, students have a great facility for studying, and second, for picking up on girls. There are a few strategies in finding your eternal companion through this medium. One is to stand back, and wait for a seat next to a girl to open up, then take a chance. This is slow, and has produced little fruit. More radically is to draw them in. Leave a book unattended at the table to save your seat. Stand at the nearest stairwell and pretend to talk on your cell phone while watching your table. Wait until a cute girl sits down at your table, then return. Spark up a conversation and you’re in.

The third way is to find an empty table, and wait for them to come. I was waiting for Ms. Right today, throwing out the vibe, when another guy moved in and sat right across from me. Moments later Ms. Right walked by and chose another table. My play was flawless, but this guy ruined it for me. Guys should be more aware of what is going on around them, and understand the greater purposes of BYU.

Wear Orange

2006-02-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

Most students may walk about unaware, but in the bushes there are vicious beasts waiting for the right moment to attack. According a letter dated October 27th; the “Campus deer problem” is getting out of hand, and needs to be addressed before someone gets hurt. Currently, the “Deer Mauling Count 2005” is steady at a whooping total of one close call.

Deer have come down from the Y Mountain to BYU for years to feed on the flowers, and bother students unceasingly. Years ago I saw several deer jump across 900 East late one night into the MTC, a whole pack of the monsters probably going to attack some unsuspecting Elder, or BYU coed.

The truth is, there is no way to “take the problem of deer on campus seriously.” Short of supplying campus ground crew members with crash orange and .30-30s, or releasing real live cougars (not just you and me, but real mountain lions) on campus to deal with the pesky deer, I don’t see a tactful solution to it. I suppose we’ll just have to press forward, and allow our brethren to be mauled and trampled by them ruthless deer, and find something else to complain about.